pokethehokie: I can tell a story!
pokethehokie: Once upon a time, there was a hot princess named Molly
FreeFeeshes: I told Mondie a rocking story
pokethehokie: She lived in a castle on a cloud with her rich and royal family
FreeFeeshes: Mondie loved my story. *goes back to reading*
pokethehokie: And everything was pretty sweet
pokethehokie: Except for the fact that there were no gay men anywhere and Molly totally didn't dig that
pokethehokie: So she decided to go seek her fortune
pokethehokie: And went down to the mainland and there, she ran into the princesses Mandy and Anne
pokethehokie: who were also on a search for gay men
pokethehokie: so they decided to band together because three princesses are better than one
FreeFeeshes: ..where the hell is Rachel?
pokethehokie: And one day, they went into a seedy looking bar because Princess Mandy wanted some more vodka-flavored peanut butter lipgloss
pokethehokie: Near the back of the room was a dark, mysterious cloaked figure
Its99InTheShade: *listens intently*
pokethehokie: "Oh man," Princess Anne complained, "I haven't seen any gay men anywhere. We went to freakin' Rainbow Express!"
ProcrastnateTHIS: -settles down-
FreeFeeshes: what about the figure?
pokethehokie: "Where are they hiding?" Princess Molly wondered.
FreeFeeshes: I wanna know about the figure
pokethehokie: Princess Mandy giggled and sniffed her vodka-flavored peanut butter lipgloss.
pokethehokie: The cloaked figure stood up and went to the three girls.
pokethehokie: "You seek gay men?" the figure said in an incongruously feminine voice. "Then come, follow me."
FreeFeeshes: That's that mean?
pokethehokie: Warily, the three princesses followed the cloaked figure back to the table.
pokethehokie: The cloaked figure pulled back her hood, revealing a young woman about their age.
pokethehokie: "My name is Rachel," she said, "and I know where the gay men are."
pokethehokie: "Where?!" all three demanded.
FreeFeeshes: That's better!
ProcrastnateTHIS: does this mean blaze will end up being a gay man?
pokethehokie: No, Princess Anne is Blaze
pokethehokie: I don't have an 'e' on my name
ProcrastnateTHIS: oh i thought princess anne was an- oh, ok
FreeFeeshes: So Annie is the gay man
ProcrastnateTHIS: sorry, continue
Its99InTheShade: I wouldn't mind being a gay man.... ok, no, I would mind
pokethehokie: Rachel sighed heavily. "They are hidden away in the Evil Overlady's Dark Evil Mean Sarcastic Dishonest and Generally Pretty Bad Castle."
FreeFeeshes: I like Rachel.
pokethehokie: "Can we help them get out?" Mandy asked, distracted from her lipgloss.
FreeFeeshes: ..Annie's the evil overlord.
pokethehokie: "yes," Rachel replied, "but it will be a long, strange journey."
pokethehokie: "That's okay," Princess Molly said, "I wore sensible shoes!" She twinkled.
FreeFeeshes: .......Keza, Molly scares me
pokethehokie: Rachel stared. "...um...are you sure?"
pokethehokie: "yes!" Princess Anne, who was the only one with half a lick of sense, said.
pokethehokie: "Well, okay," Rachel said. She led them to a nearby hotel and sleepy music played while the party recharged.
ProcrastnateTHIS: (secretly, we were batteries)
pokethehokie: The next morning, the four girls prepared to head on out to the Evil Overlady's Dark Evil Mean Sarcastic Dishonest and Generally Pretty Bad Castle.
pokethehokie: Rachel distributed weapons to each of the girls.
FreeFeeshes: (that's coo', yo)
pokethehokie: Mandy got a huge-ass sword that she could hardly lift, Anne got a Really Fucking Big Gun (tm), Molly got a lance, and Rachel carried a really pointy shuriken.
Its99InTheShade: that's right, be afraid of my fun
Its99InTheShade: and my fun
Its99InTheShade: erm, Gun, there
FreeFeeshes: that made me laugh!
FreeFeeshes: Really Fucking Big Gun (tm)
pokethehokie: And they set out on their way.
FreeFeeshes: ..what's a shuriken?
FreeFeeshes: Keza, go for your wife
ProcrastnateTHIS: it's pointy
pokethehokie: Like Rachel had promised, the journey was indeed long and strange.
ProcrastnateTHIS: like a throwing star
ProcrastnateTHIS: with eight pointy point...things.
FreeFeeshes: ..*goes caus her wife's descriptions suck*
pokethehokie: They had many random encounters, including one where they fought against no less than six frogs who were able to turn them into frogs, which really sucked and took a long time to beat.
FreeFeeshes: ..wtf is that?
ProcrastnateTHIS: at first i thought shuriken was some sort of shrimp
ProcrastnateTHIS: and i was going to laugh at cel because she had to fight with a pointy shrimp
pokethehokie: Luckily, Mandy was actually able to lift her sword after a few fights, Anne learned how to control her Really Fucking Big Gun (tm), Molly figured out how to cause some serious damage with her lance, and Rachel left more than one
FreeFeeshes: ..support your wife!
pokethehokie: enemy pinned to a tree with her shuriken.
Its99InTheShade: I read "and Rachel left more than once" Sure, abandon us
FreeFeeshes: I did, too
pokethehokie: Finally, the day arrived when the four girls arrived at the Evil Overlady's Dark Evil Mean Sarcastic Dishonest and Generally Pretty Bad Castle.
MondieGoil: Um so guess what
FreeFeeshes: Sotry, Mondie!
ProcrastnateTHIS: doesn't seem like anything good. what's up?
pokethehokie: At the gates of the castle stood a blonde boi with a eyepatch over one eye.
MondieGoil: GUESS WHAAAAT
pokethehokie: He held a sword with a rather limp wrist.
FreeFeeshes: A boi. Nice. *watis for Mondie*
MondieGoil: Today has just... rocked hardcore.
ProcrastnateTHIS: oh! yay!
pokethehokie: "What do you want?" he asked, staring at the four girls.
FreeFeeshes: cause of my rocking sotry, right?
pokethehokie: "We're here to liberate the gay men!" Princess Mandy cheered, hoisting her vodka-flavored peanut butter lipgloss.
Its99InTheShade: limp noodle!
MondieGoil: er... what did i miss?
MondieGoil: OH WAHOO FOR THE LIPGLOSS OF VODKA!
ProcrastnateTHIS: annvidity is telling a story
pokethehokie: Blink blinked. (AHAHAH FEAR THE PUN)
MondieGoil: shit i've missed most of it! *cries*
pokethehokie: "...do you have an appointment?" he asked finally.
FreeFeeshes: (wife, bring me to life!*
ProcrastnateTHIS: scroll up, damn it!
MondieGoil: damn nick calling at inopportune times
ProcrastnateTHIS: -resurrects cello-
FreeFeeshes: yay. *kissie*
pokethehokie: The girls looked at each other. "...no?" Rachel said finally.
ProcrastnateTHIS: want toast?
pokethehokie: "Oh well in that case I have no choice but to kill you," Blink replied.
pokethehokie: Luckily, just then, Anne remembered she had a spare Mush in her backpack!
FreeFeeshes: ..offer him mansex with someone!
ProcrastnateTHIS: -gasp- oh no
FreeFeeshes: OH LEECH
Its99InTheShade: SPARE MUSH!
pokethehokie: She pulled out the spare Mush and threw him at Blink.
FreeFeeshes: ..so who's journal is this going in?
pokethehokie: The two boys squeed like whoa and started snuggling right there and then.
pokethehokie: Happily, the four girls snuck past the snuggling bois and up the path to the castle.
FreeFeeshes: Who is BBBBBBB?
MondieGoil: M/B but really excited-like
MondieGoil: but but but i want to watch snuggling bois
pokethehokie: At the door to the castle stood another boy, this one clad in nothing but leather chaps and a lime-green glittery cowboy hat.
FreeFeeshes: You totally scammed Jack.
FreeFeeshes: I mean!
pokethehokie: "Evenin', ladies," he said, tipping his hat.
MondieGoil: i want it to be mush *pout*
ProcrastnateTHIS: WHO DO I GET IN MY BACKPACK
Its99InTheShade: only I have the backpack!
FreeFeeshes: I want Dutchy in mine! and then I can throw him at Specs!
ProcrastnateTHIS: WHO DO I GET IN MY FANNY PACK
pokethehokie: "Hi," Princess Molly said, her hormones going insane as she looked at the hottness.
FreeFeeshes: *slaps Princess Molly*
FreeFeeshes: YOU HAVE A WIFE.
FreeFeeshes: ..you have TWO
ProcrastnateTHIS: i also have a fanny pack
pokethehokie: He looked at her. "Sorry, I don't swing your way, sweetie."
pokethehokie: "We're here to liberate you!" Princess Anne cheered.
pokethehokie: "but. .. I get all the mansexxin' I want here," Jack replied.
FreeFeeshes: What happened to Rachel's lines?
Its99InTheShade: you're busy with dutchy
FreeFeeshes: No, Specs is
pokethehokie: "But now you'll have an appreciative audience!" Rachel pointed out,
FreeFeeshes: There we go
pokethehokie: "And you'll be free!" Princess Mandy added.
MondieGoil: *waits patiently to read the entire story but enjoys what she's heard so far!*
MondieGoil: i am a priiiiincess
FreeFeeshes: I'm like Strider.
pokethehokie: Jack glanced around surreptiously and whispered, "Okay, but don't tell the Evil Overlady I let you in."
pokethehokie: He opened the door and whispered to Princess Molly as she walked past, "She doesn't let me wax my chest as often as I want."
pokethehokie: Molly swooned and Rachel had to catch her before she knocked over a suit of armor.
FreeFeeshes: and then Rachel snogged Molly.
FreeFeeshes: yay, Mondie!
Its99InTheShade: good lord
MondieGoil: *is excited*
pokethehokie: Suddenly, then, three bois leapt over the staircase and blocked the way of the girls!
MondieGoil: OH NO!
pokethehokie: "OH NO!"
FreeFeeshes: WHICH BOIS?
pokethehokie: princess Mandy shrieked
MondieGoil: <3333 <4
pokethehokie: "Mandy, you take Jake; Anne, you take Swifty, and I'll take Dutchy!"
pokethehokie: Rachel commanded.
pokethehokie: "What about me?" asked Molly.
MondieGoil: EVIL BOY OF EVILNESS
FreeFeeshes: Jake=rock, man
pokethehokie: "You stand there and look pretty, I'll deal with you in a sec."
pokethehokie: Rachel replied
MondieGoil: *would kill jake in a second*
FreeFeeshes: and why does Anne get Swifty?
FreeFeeshes: He's Molly's.
pokethehokie: The three pairs began to fight.
FreeFeeshes: Except Rache;, who couldn't bear to
MondieGoil: *snaps jake's neck between her pinkie fingers*
pokethehokie: "I'm givin' out candy and kickin' ass today, and I'll alllll out of candy," Anne snarled as she pointed her Really Big Fucking Gun (tm) at Swiftyt.
FreeFeeshes: WHo's Swiftyt?
Its99InTheShade: wait, SWIFTY?
YankeeBaBy87 has entered the room.
pokethehokie: Swifty silently pointed his own big-ass gun at Anne and they started shooting.
Its99InTheShade: not so haha
FreeFeeshes: Anti-climactic, much?
pokethehokie: and THEN SUDDENLY RAVEN APPEARED ON THE SCENE!
FreeFeeshes: We passed Jack, though.
YankeeBaBy87: whoa...Major comp lag...
pokethehokie: "What the hell are you doing here?" Molly asked, taking a break from looking pretty.
YankeeBaBy87: danm it!
pokethehokie: "I'm here to be a superhero!" Raven replied, striking a dramatic pose as her cape fluttered behind her.
FreeFeeshes: geeeeeeet tooooo Duuuuuuuuutchyyyyy
YankeeBaBy87: Did she pass Spot?
pokethehokie: (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm crap at fight scenes, so insert a really dramatic awesome bloody fight scene here and we'll continue with our stories when you'
FreeFeeshes: Spot isn't yours.
pokethehokie: re finished)
Its99InTheShade: yes, do bloody me up
FreeFeeshes: suck it up, you Swifty-killer
YankeeBaBy87: I know this, but I like reading about him.
pokethehokie: Swifty, Dutchy, and Jake staggered off, waving their fists at the princesses.
pokethehokie: Blaze wiped her forehead, leaving a long streak of blood across of her forehead.
FreeFeeshes: *grasps at thin air*
pokethehokie: "Whew, that was tough," Rachel commented, wiping the blood off of her shuriken.
YankeeBaBy87: ewww bloody blaze
FreeFeeshes: ..I BLOODIED DUTCHY?
FreeFeeshes: *passes out on Keza*
YankeeBaBy87: *pats Cello*
Its99InTheShade: sexy with the blood
FreeFeeshes: *shifts to Raven*
pokethehokie: Mandy whined, "Heeeelp meee," and tugged ineffectually at her sword, which was stuck in a wall.
pokethehokie: Raven stopped strutting as she noticed something had ... changed in the atmosphere.
pokethehokie: "What's wrong, Raven?" Molly asked.
ProcrastnateTHIS: sweet friction?
pokethehokie: "OH SHIT!" Raven screamed, pointing.
FreeFeeshes: aaah sweetsweetredhotheat
pokethehokie: The five girls looked up and saw THE MOST HORRIFYING SIGHT EVER (TM).
FreeFeeshes: ....I don't wanna know!
YankeeBaBy87: don't tell me! *attaches to Cello*
ProcrastnateTHIS: -eats toast, amused-
pokethehokie: A slender blonde boy with cerulean eyes came slinking down the stairs, clad in a pair of clinging leather pants and a red silk shirt open at the throat.
FreeFeeshes: *steals toast*
FreeFeeshes: ..how is that horrifying?
YankeeBaBy87: *takes a bite* sank you...
pokethehokie: He unsheathed the sword that hung at his side and slowly licked along the blade.
MondieGoil: *is caught up!*
pokethehokie: "Hello, ladies," he said throatily.
FreeFeeshes: hye, no stealing my toast that I stole..!
Its99InTheShade: please tell me he cut off his own tongue
FreeFeeshes: makes me laugh
YankeeBaBy87: who is this mystery man!?
pokethehokie: "My name is Spot Conlon. Remember that, it's the last thing you'll see before I send you STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN!"
pokethehokie: He leapt over the railing and lunged at the girls.
MondieGoil: cuz tonight we're gonna go straight -- ...right to heaven!
pokethehokie: An insanely dramatic and cool and really neato fight commenced!
FreeFeeshes: ..*inserts Reloaded lobby scene*
pokethehokie: By the end of it, Raven had convinced Spot to stop fighting for his captivity and maybe he should go have some fun with the cowboi out front.
MondieGoil: ahahaha cowboi
pokethehokie: Princess Molly found some flavored lube in her fanny pack and gave it to Spot, who cheered and scampered out.
MondieGoil: sorry that was really funny
YankeeBaBy87: what flavor?
MondieGoil: Fanny pack! ahahaha
FreeFeeshes: Does it matter?
FreeFeeshes: Oh, ok
pokethehokie: "What flavor was that?" Raven wondered.
pokethehokie: "Vanilla," Molly replied, winking.
pokethehokie: Raven winked back without really knowing why.
FreeFeeshes: ..Dude, you just ruined vanilla
pokethehokie: The five girls charged up the staircase to fight the Evil Overlady so she would release the gay men.
pokethehokie: "A-hA!" Anne yelled, shoving a door open. Itey and Snitch looked up from their bath, confused.
pokethehokie: "Uh, sorry, wrong room," Rachel muttered, shutting the door.
Its99InTheShade: oh my
FreeFeeshes: not cute!
MondieGoil: OMGOMGOMGNICKISCOMINGTOGALA *listens again*
pokethehokie: "A-hA!" Mandy yelled, shoving open the door. Specs pulled away from Skittery, blinking.
pokethehokie: "Um, can I help you?" he asked.
ProcrastnateTHIS: i'm sneezing again. -can't stop-
pokethehokie: "DON'TTALKWITHYOURMOUTHFULLOMG" Raven screeched, slamming the door shut.
FreeFeeshes: *blacks out on top of Raven*
MondieGoil: ANNIE YOU ROCK
MondieGoil: *is trying not to wake sleeping!roomie*
pokethehokie: "Where the hell is she?" Molly wondered.
MondieGoil: *BUT IS LAUGHING SO DAMN HARD*
YankeeBaBy87: *slaps Cello* WAKE UP
pokethehokie: "Wait!" Rachel said. "Could she be in THERE?!"
pokethehokie: She pointed dramatically.
FreeFeeshes: *slaps in coma like sleep*
pokethehokie: At the end of the hall was a door that had a really annoyingly obnoxious nameplate that said "The Evil Overlady Slept Here."
YankeeBaBy87: I even get beat up by unconscious people...
pokethehokie: "Let's check it out!" Anne said.
FreeFeeshes: I would sobeat your ass any day
YankeeBaBy87: and I would so beat yours
FreeFeeshes: we would so beat each other's
YankeeBaBy87: we so would
pokethehokie: They ran down the hall, and then Princess Molly timidly knocked.
FreeFeeshes: and I'd leave you on the train station ground, and you'd leave me backstage
pokethehokie: "C'mon in!" a voice yelled
MondieGoil: please let it be a newsie in diva drag...
FreeFeeshes: No, it's Ann
MondieGoil: oh please oh please oh please
pokethehokie: Molly opened the door and the five girls walked in. At the huge desk sat a brunette girl with her ho boots kicked up on the desk.
MondieGoil: please let it be ann in diva costume
pokethehokie: Newsies dressed in very skimpy togas fed her Skittles.
MondieGoil: is mondie strangely attracted to said evil overlady?
pokethehokie: "Can I help you ladies?" she asked, sucking an orange Skittle off of Bumlet's finger.
pokethehokie: Mandy gaped.
pokethehokie: "Nyergh," she replied eloquently.
Its99InTheShade: oooo bumlets, FINALLY
MondieGoil: One of my better quotes
pokethehokie: "We're here to demand the release of the gay men!" Princess Anne said, eyeing Bumlets hungrily.
pokethehokie: "Yeah," Raven agreed, eyeing the bag of Skittles Bumlets held hungrily.
ImpWraith has entered the room.
FreeFeeshes: Rache needs a line..!
Its99InTheShade: shhh! It's my bumles time!
pokethehokie: AND THEN, MYSTERIOUSLY, RUMOR BURST OUT OF THE CLOSET!
MondieGoil: Mandy wants to jump Annie Heart
ImpWraith: *deadpans* Boo!
MondieGoil: it is story time Rumor!!!
pokethehokie: "AHA!" she cried, striking a pose. "At last I have captured you renegade princesses!"
YankeeBaBy87: its a good story
MondieGoil: O_O eep
pokethehokie: "O_O" said Rachel
ImpWraith: *sorry this is 3 chat's I've got going.* Hehe.
FreeFeeshes: Rachel wants to jump Dutchy. Rachel weeps.
YankeeBaBy87: *passes Rachel a kleenex*
FreeFeeshes: *blows nose and gives back*
ProcrastnateTHIS has left the room.
MondieGoil: well mandy is still not on annie heart. which is so unlike mandy!
pokethehokie: "RUMOR THE BOUNTY HUNTER!" the princesses cried in unison.
ProcrastnateTHIS has entered the room.
FreeFeeshes: *snugs wife*
pokethehokie: "She's the most famous and respected bounty hunter in all the land!" Princess Molly whispered.
ImpWraith: Ooooh....*likes the sound of that*
ImpWraith: *adores Bobba Fett.* ;-)
pokethehokie: "She never lets a target get away!" whispered Princess Mandy, although she was still staring at the Evil Overlady.
MondieGoil: YEAH mandy was
Its99InTheShade: William Hung performed at a UC berkley game last night....
pokethehokie: "She single-handedly brought down the Princess Rampage of 1985!" Princess Anne added.
ProcrastnateTHIS: -puts on Guster-
MondieGoil: *is listening to dandy warhols*
ProcrastnateTHIS: i think Evil Overlady should be jamming to Guster
ProcrastnateTHIS: YEAH DANDY!
pokethehokie: "I sure am!" Rumor affirmed.
FreeFeeshes: *listening to "LIgh My Candle"*
ProcrastnateTHIS: i listened to so much Dandy today
ImpWraith: Oh haha! *is wathcing Life as a House* so I've been hearing lots of Guster. ;-)
YankeeBaBy87: Love that one
YankeeBaBy87: its one of my favs
pokethehokie: Evil Overlady blinked. "Um hi, what are you doing in my office?"
ProcrastnateTHIS: niiiiiice Rumla
FreeFeeshes: I gotta pee.
ProcrastnateTHIS: did i get you into dandy worhals mondster?
YankeeBaBy87: hold it!
pokethehokie: Rumor showed her a piece of paper she'd pulled out of her cleavage. "Contract. Got to get these renegade princesses and bring them home."
MondieGoil: OH NOOOOOO
FreeFeeshes: ok, Raven
pokethehokie: "I'm not a princess!" said Rachel.
pokethehokie: "Me neither!" said Raven.
ImpWraith: Cleavage? Umm...what cleavage? Hehe. *smirk*
ProcrastnateTHIS has left the room.
pokethehokie: "That's what you think!" Rumor replied. "According to this, YOU'RE BOTH PRINCESSES AND YOU'RE SISTERS!"
pokethehokie: "*GASP*" said Rachel and Raven.
FreeFeeshes: OMGWTF *SQUEEL*
ImpWraith: At least somewhere I have some. ;-)
FreeFeeshes: *dances around with Raven!*
YankeeBaBy87: *does the same*
ImpWraith: Oooh...I like my charrie!
FreeFeeshes: ..so we're sisters, incredibly alike,a nd we have to same name?
YankeeBaBy87: *is in a strangely good mood*
pokethehokie: Everyone heard giggling and saw that Mandy had situated herself in Evil Overlady's lap and they were snuggling and beaming at each other.
FreeFeeshes: Rachel wants to rape Dutchy.
MondieGoil: awwww yay!!!!
ImpWraith: *but sadly Specs beat her to it*
MondieGoil: *snuggles annie*
pokethehokie: "Go ahead and take the bois," Evil Overlady said, gesturing absently out.
FreeFeeshes: Specs is with SKittery
ImpWraith: *sniff* Poor chally.
pokethehokie: "Have fun."
pokethehokie: SO THEY STOLE THE GAY BOYS!
FreeFeeshes: GHEY BOIS
ProcrastnateTHIS has entered the room.
ProcrastnateTHIS: that was a process
pokethehokie: And the world became a gayer happier prettier rainbowier place
Its99InTheShade: I want my shag time with a certain boy!
FreeFeeshes: And Dutchy!
pokethehokie: And Anne shagged Bumlets
ProcrastnateTHIS: NUUUU I MISSED THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!
Its99InTheShade: happy now
pokethehokie: And Rachel had a threesome with Specs and Dutchy
pokethehokie: And Molly scronked Pie
FreeFeeshes: MIEN IS BETTER AHAHAHAH BLAZE
MondieGoil: does mandy get to marry annie?
ProcrastnateTHIS: woo woo pie
MondieGoil: and mush?
FreeFeeshes: how 'bout Swifty?
pokethehokie: And Raven made wildly sweet love to Swifty
FreeFeeshes: Swifty's hawt.
ProcrastnateTHIS: swifty's evil..
YankeeBaBy87: he is but...never screwed Swifty before
pokethehokie: And Rumor found a spare Snoddy in her cleavage and they got married
FreeFeeshes: that's why he's hawt
ProcrastnateTHIS: oh, ok :-D
pokethehokie: And Mandy and Ann got married
Its99InTheShade: Oh yeah, fish?
pokethehokie: And it was all delicious
pokethehokie: THE END
MondieGoil: OH YAY
Its99InTheShade: I don't need TWO men to do the work of ONE
FreeFeeshes: And Molly and Pie and Specs and Rachel and Dutchy got married!
MondieGoil: *snuggles annie*
pokethehokie: and everyone got married!
pokethehokie: THE END
MondieGoil: i think i'm going to bed, m'loves
YankeeBaBy87: That was a great story!
FreeFeeshes: THE END!!!!1111
We have problems. Or actually, I have problems.